Losing a Resident

It was a hard week for my project. I went in to volunteer on Monday, and I found out one of my favorite residents had a bad weekend. She had stomach cancer, and her health was declining rapidly. She also had pretty bad dementia. She broke her arm a while back, and multiple times a day she would ask what happened to her arm because she couldn't remember. That got me thinking how scary Alzheimers can be. Just imagine how lost they feel, they can't even remember what happened to their own bodies. Anyways, this evening I got a call that this resident passed away and it hit me really hard. I was surprised by how much emotion it actually sparked from me, but I think in order to work and be around a place like this I need to learn to accept death. This resident was always so sweet, and she always called me a dear or told me I was such a doll. She never remembered my name, and I doubt she even knew who I was, but I feel like I lost a grandparent. She always had a smile on her face and she always loved to tell me stories about working on the farm when she was a little girl. I'm so happy that she could remember those good memories, not the bad ones like breaking her arm. That also really confuses me that they can remember and forget different things. I'm going to research that this weekend and hopefully next week for my entry have an answer to that.
In regards to the resident that passed away, I'm so happy I got to do this project because I got to spend more time with her. When it was warm out last week I actually took this resident for a walk on a trail behind the building. The whole time she kept saying how wonderful it was to be outside and that everything was so beautiful. She was able to appreciate the little things like nature, and it made me realize I need to slow down sometimes and do that too. I'm really going to miss this resident, but I'm glad I got to learn from her.